Stress and Infertility

Fertility Reflexology is available at Lotus Holistic Therapies. Excellent for balancing hormones and relieving stress. Emotional freedom technique can help with stress levels enabling you to learn a coping mechanism that can be used anytime. In our busy lives we are all vulnerable to stress related disorders. You have only to look around any meeting, supermarket, office or staff room to see people in various stages of stress and tension.

Most people do not even realise it, but signs like foot tapping, clenched hands or teeth, furrowed brows and so on are common. The plight of those with fertility problems who are under stress does not often hit the headlines, but through no fault of their own, infertility sufferers find themselves caught in a vicious circle.

Do they have fertility issues because they are stressed, or are they stressed because they have fertility issues? We all need a certain amount of stress in our lives or life would be dull, but it is how much stress and how we cope with it that is important. It is necessary to know ourselves and our limitations and not constantly overstretch ourselves. We all have a stress threshold.

So what is stress?

It is anything which gives rise to worry, pain or fatigue, when our personalities are at odds with the environment and inter-personal challenges which confront us. We all have breaking points which relate to different strengths, weaknesses, experiences and the loads we carry, but when circumstances become intolerable something “gives” and we become ill or have a breakdown.

The difficulty is that the chain of cause and effect is often unrecognized and the illness is regarded as bad luck or personal weakness. Its symptoms are treated, but the real cause remains. The “ideal family with children” has existed down the centuries and has been promoted by many groups, including the church, political parties and the media.

Many infertility sufferers feel out of place among people with children which is only natural, as family situations or being around people with their children, heightens the hurt felt by their own situation. It can be very beneficial to learn to relax.

This combined with a proper diet, exercise and positive thinking will help alleviate tension. There are various relaxation techniques available, but one must try for themselves to see which method works best for them. The aim of good coping is to think of the four Cs – be COMMITTED, CONFIDENT, CALM and in CONTROL.

You may have to review your lifestyle and reduce the amounts of stress in your life in order to achieve this. The secret is to strike a balance to prevent stress becoming a problem. In other words, learn how to live a full life and as far as possible with the minimum wear and tear.

Emotional stress and its relationship to infertility An investigation of infertility which discloses a list of faults, but which does not provide some explanatconsultation; or conception occurs after a semen analysis, even before the results are known; after a simple vaginal examination; after general reassurance; after deciding to adopt. The only common factor in all the anecdotal events is relief of tension.

Control your breathing – breath from the diaphragm, not up in the chest. The deep out-breath is the relaxing one. Breathe in and out through the nose and as you breathe out, imagine all the tension and worries melting away.

 Physical exercise counteracts stress. Swimming, walking and yoga are excellent, but make sure you choose something you really want to and are able to do and try enlisting a friend to join you for moral support and company.

 Manage your time off more efficiently so that you have time for YOU. Make 3 lists a) must do list, b) should do list, c) ought to do list, then concentrate on the a) list, putting time for yourself at the head of that list.

 Learn to say NO. Being assertive is all about stating your needs, saying something like “I have too much on at the moment, but to try asking me again another time”, will get the message across without hurting feelings.

 A massage can be very relaxing. Reflexology or head massage are a good introduction if you are uncertain about a full body massage, but there are lots of different types of massage becoming available and all will help you relax.

 Try to laugh more, sing more, read light novels and not deep and thought provoking books to help relax. Dancing and painting are also great stress relievers. Whatever you choose to do, do it for fun and relaxation.

 Sleep is a good healer. If you can’t sleep, get up, don’t lie in bed worrying about it. Try reading a book, watching light TV, have a milky drink, do some chores even. Limit your caffeine intake if you are having difficulty sleeping and don’t have any after 4pm. Try writing down your thoughts, worries and things you need to do earlier in the day so you are not churning them

Learn to meditate or join a relaxation class where you will learn to “switch off”, control your mind and think positively. Your local library may have details of courses in stress management and relaxation classes.

 Use relaxation tapes. Use especially before going to sleep at night, but at any time during the day to help calm and relax you.

 There are many good books available on how to deal with stress.

 Enlist support from family and friends.

If you find this difficult then always remember that the staff at I N UK are always just a call away and that our team of volunteers are there for you too. Many of these volunteers will have experienced similar feelings as you are now.

Remember that your partner may also have higher than normal stress levels whilst going through the rollercoaster ride of investigations and treatments.

Learn to talk to each other and to share your feelings.

Relax together whenever possible. Reduce the lighting, put on soft music and have a nice romantic evening just relaxing together.

It is so important that you make time for each other. It is all too easy to forget about your relationship whilst undergoing investigations and treatment and being wrapped up in all they involve.

The last thing you need at such a time is relationship problems occurring, so make the effort to keep the romance in your life whenever possible.

Limit your working hours and work to schedule, make goals, but know your limits.